Happy!: "Saint Nick"

It is 6 December 2017, and time for the premiere episode of Happy!.

When a young girl named Hailey is kidnapped by a disturbed man dressed as Santa Claus, Hailey's imaginary friend Happy (voiced by Patton Oswalt) goes for help: finding as her saviour a drunken ex-police detective turned professional killer Nick Sax (Christopher Meloni).

Based on a comic miniseries by Grant Morrison and Darick Robertson, Happy! is an absurd - and absurdly violent combination of grimy crime thriller and black comedy. Violence abounds, and over-the-top jokes and pratfalls sit uneasily alongside grotesque moments of horror. The episode works surprisingly well in fits and starts, but also makes several awkward missteps. It gets there in the end, but I suspect it will lose a fair proportion of viewers on the way.

Highlander: The Series: "See No Evil"

It is 1 February 1993, and time for another episode of Highlander: The Series.

A masked murderer stalks the streets of Seacouver, attacking women and scalping them for their hair. Duncan Macleod (Adrian Paul) knows the behaviour well: he saw it 70 years earlier when he hunted down an immortal serial killer. That killer, however, is dead. Who is picking up their crimes?

Brian Clemens is one of the most noted figures in British telefantasy history. Best known for his work developing and producing The Avengers (Steed and Mrs Peel, not Iron Man and friends), he was also instrumental to Adam Adamant Lives, The Persuaders, and Thriller. "See No Evil" marks his first and only episode of Highlander: The Series, but it is not Clemens' first encounter with the Highlander franchise. Brian Clemens was also one of the writers of the notorious film sequel Highlander II: The Quickening.

Highlander: The Series: "Revenge is Sweet"

It is 12 December 1992, and time for another episode of Highlander.

In 1988 the immortal Walter Reinhardt (Christoph Ohrt) plunged into the ocean in the middle of a duel with Macleod (Adrian Paul) and has not been seen since. Almost four years later his former lover Rebecca Lord (Vanity) arrives in Seacouver to recover Reinhardt's sword - and to have revenge on Macleod himself.

"Revenge is Sweet" is predictably imperfect - this really is a shaky season of television - but it does have a solid narrative, a back story that actually informs present events and character, and finds something of worth for each of the three series leads to do. It also runs a nice line is rising paranoia: is Rebecca plotting against Macleod? Does she even know that Reinhardt and Macleod are immortals? Is Reinhardt somehow hiding in the background, manipulating events from behind the scenes? As I mentioned, this isn't outstanding television drama. It does show a television series finally beginning to get the hang of itself.

Highlander: The Series: "The Sea Witch"

It is 5 December 1992, and time for another episode of Highlander: The Series.

Richie (Stan Kirsch) runs into a former friend, which leads to both of them getting chased down by a local drug syndicate. When Duncan (Adrian Paul) gets involved, he discovers the drug kingpin Alexi Voshin (Stephen Macht) is the same immortal that betrayed him in 1938.

I can go no further in reviewing this episode until I express how disappointing it is to watch an episode of a fantasy television series titled "The Sea Witch", only to discover that the titular witch is not a witch at all, but rather the name of a 1938 Eastern European cargo ship. Way to let the audience down from the outset. On its own, the title suggests any number of cool stories and characters. In reality, "The Sea Witch" is a staggeringly dull waste of time.

Giant Spider & Me: A Post-Apocalyptic Tale Vol 1 (2016)

Nagi is a 12-year-old orphaned girl living on her own in a cottage in the woods. In the valley below a massive city has been flooded and deserted before she was even born. Surrounding her is what is left of humanity, huddled together in isolated villages. One day, while foraging for food, Nagi stumbles upon a two-metre-long spider. She names it Asa, and it follows her home.

Giant Spider & Me is a 2016 manga by writer/artist Kikori Morino, whose first volume has just been published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment (translation by Adrienne Beck). It's a wonderful new series with a very simple and traditional manga style, and a surprisingly bright and heartwarming tone. It's also one of the more original concepts for a manga I have noticed of late. Japan is well renowned for its comparatively unusual story concepts, but a 12-year-old making friends with a giant spider is one of the stranger ones. It certainly makes for a book that readers are unlikely to forget in a hurry: arachnophobes potentially need not apply.

Highlander: The Series: "Deadly Medicine"

It is 7 November 1992, and time for another episode of Highlander: The Series.

While walking down the street one night, Duncan (Adrian Paul) is the victim of a hit-and-run accident. Rushed to hospital, his immortal healing powers attract the attention of a deranged emergency ward doctor (Joe Pantoliano) - who kidnaps Duncan to undertake experiments on him.

You have to at least admire the consistency of early Highlander episodes. They're packed with silly plots, terrible acting, and often-times pretty cringe-inducing dialogue. This one throws in what is effectively a mad scientist crossed with a serial killer, one who kidnaps patients from his own hospital without people knowing and who operates an entire backyard surgery for human experimentation in his suburban basement. Not that the episode interrogates him at all; he's just the villain of the week.

Highlander: The Series: "Mountain Men"

It is 9 November 1992, and time for another episode of Highlander: The Series.

Tessa (Alexandra Vandernoot) goes travelling in a mountain region, only to be kidnapped by a trio of men who live rough off the land - and whose leader Caleb Cole (Marc Singer) plans to forcibly marry her. Once Tessa is missing, Duncan (Adrian Paul) arrives to search for her - bringing back memories of an immortal hermit that once lived in the region.

Sometimes there are episodes for which there are no suitable words, and the best option for the reviewer is to just point in the episode's general direction and do 'jazz hand' motions. "Mountain Men" is, in spite of itself, pretty funny. I don't think it was supposed to be amusing, but sometimes bad television gets knocked sideways into the comedy genre by accident.

Highlander: The Series: "Bad Day in Building A"

It is 24 October 1992, and time for another episode of Highlander: The Series.

When Tessa (Alexandra Vandernoot) heads into city hall to pay a stack of parking tickets, she and Ritchie (Stan Kirsch) are taken hostage as part of a violent criminal's escape attempt. When Duncan (Adrian Paul) steps in to help, he gets shot for his troubles - but as an immortal he is soon up and running, taking down the hostage-takers one at a time.

Or, in other words, 'Highlander does Die Hard'. "Bad Day in Building A" is terrible; really, truly, and overwhelmingly terrible. It does not actually feel like something written for Highlander; take out one scene of Duncan being 'executed' and it could easily sit comfortably inside of Walker: Texas Ranger or the like. There are no flashbacks - a first for the series so far - and no immortals other than Duncan. It is entirely generic and miserably redundant television.

Highlander: The Series: "Free Fall"

It is 26 October 1992, and time for another episode of Highlander: The Series.

Richie (Stan Kirsch) meets a confused young woman named Felicia Martins (Joan Jett). Shortly afterwards she appears to commit suicide falling off the top of a downtown skyscraper. When Felicia returns, dazed but unharmed, Richie and Duncan (Adrian Paul) realise that she is a newly resurrected immortal. There is, however, more to Felicia that first appears.

In its early days Highlander: The Series undertook an odd little dalliance with stunt-casting pop and rock stars in guest appearances. It was a strategy that sort of worked, thanks to Highlander's Queen soundtrack giving it a sort of rock music cache to begin with, but it was also a strategy that sort of failed, since more often than not a talented rock singer was not also a talented actor. Joan Jett, the first of these guest stars, give it her all. Sadly she's really not very good, and it hurts the final episode.

Roar: "Pilot"

It is 14 July 1997, and time for the series premiere of Roar.

In the year 400, young Irish rebel Conor (Heath Ledger) survives the massacre of his family before rising up to become the leader destined to rid his country of the Roman invaders. With the aid of his bodyguard Fergus (John Saint Ryan), former slave Catlin (Vera Farmiga), and African runaway Tully (Alonzo Greer), Conor starts with the rival chieftan who murdered his family and lover and who sided with the Roman during their invasion.

Roar is one of the most mid-1990s TV dramas you could find. Following the runaway success of the linked fantasy series Xena: Warrior Princess and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, American TV networks and syndicates briefly went spare trying to recapture the appeal of those shows. To my mind Roar is the most accomplished of those attempts - albeit one of the more short-lived at just 13 episodes. It's an engaging remix of other programs, produced with a lot of enthusiasm and good humour.

Highlander: The Series: "Innocent Man"

It's 10 October 1992, and time for another episode of Highlander: The Series.

Homeless veteran Leo Atkins (Vincent Schiavelli) is in the wrong place at the wrong time when he stumbles upon the recently decapitated corpse of an immortal. Framed for the crime by local sheriff Howard Crowley (John Novak), he must rely on a visiting Duncan Macleod (Adrian Paul) to demonstrate his innocence.

The late Vincent Schiavelli is one of those beloved fixtures of cult and genre cinema that his mere presence alone seems to demand that "Innocent Man" deserves praise. In a long career he appeared in such films as One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Buckaroo Banzai, Amadeus, Ghost, Batman Returns, Lord of Illusions, Tomorrow Never Dies, and Man on the Moon. The temptation is there to simply shout 'Vincent Schiavelli, it's great, shut up', and call the review a day.

Highlander: The Series: "Road Not Taken"

It is 17 October 1992, and time for another episode of Highlander: The Series.

A cyclist goes on a violent rampage in a jewelry store before collapsing dead just outside. With the cyclist a friend of Richie (Stan Kirsch), he and Duncan Macleod (Adrian Paul) investigate - leading them to an old immortal acquaintance of Macleods who has spent centuries seeking the perfect super-strength elixir.

"Road Not Taken" marks an improvement over "Family Tree", which in its own small way improved upon "The Gathering". Highlander: The Series definitely appears to be getting better with each episode; in this case the episode is almost good. For one thing it involves another immortal. For another, it actually holds a comparatively complex storyline. On top of that the action is genuinely impressive stuff for a weekly television drama. It's still not particularly good television, but at least you can begin to see the good stuff in the distance.

Highlander: The Series: "Family Tree"

It is 19 December 1992, and time for another episode of Highlander: The Series.

Richie (Stan Kirsch) is trying to find out who his birth parents were, which leads the desperate con artist Joe Scanlon (J.E. Freeman) - who is in for $50,000 with the local mob - to masquerade as his father to get the money from him. Macleod (Adrian Paul) is suspicious, which puts him up against Joe's crime boss (Tamsin Kelsey) and violent henchman (Peter DeLuise).

Highlander's second episode is much better than the first: it's cleanly plotted and shot, the acting is better, and the production values seem a great deal stronger now that the majority of the budget isn't being spent on Christopher Lambert. You shouldn't get the wrong idea, however; "Family Tree" is still awful. It is derivative, creatively lazy and has almost nothing whatsoever to do with immortals fighting each other to the death. Some decent flashbacks to 16th century Scotland do lift it up a little, but certainly not by enough.

Highlander: The Series: "The Gathering"

Small-time thief Richie Ryan (Stan Kirsch) breaks into the antique store owned by the mysterious Duncan Macleod (Adrian Paul) - only to stumble into a confrontation between Macleod, a sword-wielding immortal, and the villainous Slan Quince (Richard Moll). Slan is intent on decapitating Macleod and stealing his power, however another stands in his way: Macleod's relative and fellow immortal Connor (Christopher Lambert).

In case you spent the 1980s under a rock: Highlander was a moderately successful fantasy film released in 1986, which starred Christopher Lambert as a Scottish highlander cursed by immortality. It depicted a disparate group of immortal warriors scattered throughout history that would fight one another to the death - by decapitation, the only means that worked permanently - until they would all assemble for "the Gathering", finish off killing one another until only one survived, at which point the winner would receive a mysterious "Prize". It was very stylishly directed by Russell Mulcahy, boasted a great soundtrack by Michael Kamen and Queen, and did a particularly strong line in flashbacks to various historical periods. In 1992 its producers decided to make a TV series out of it.

Izetta: The Last Witch: "The Battle of Sognefjord"

It is 12 November 2016, and time for another episode of Izetta: The Last Witch.

To demonstrate Izetta's power to the allied nations, Finé pledges to destroy the Drachenfels - a newly built and immensely powerful Germanian aircraft carrier. On the ship itself, however, an ace Germanian captain prepares to defend the Drachenfels from the air, and Berkmann waits in the shadows to learn more of Izetta's powers.

We're up to episode 7 of Izetta: The Last Witch, and that is definitely long enough to get a firm understanding of the series' plot, tone and style. It is pretty clear at this stage that it's a series of two halves, one of which works exceptionally well and the other of which grates terribly on the nerves. What's a viewer to do?

Izetta: The Last Witch: "On a Quiet Day..."

It is 5 November 2016, and time for the sixth episode of Izetta: The Last Witch.

With the latest battle won, and the Germanian forces retreating for the time being, Izetta and Fine manage to spend a day out among the common people of Eylstadt. Meanwhile Jonas knows Izetta's secret, and it's a race between a Germanian spy and Eylstadt spymaster Müller to get to him first.

After the previous episode of Izetta had thankfully avoided the egregious fan service that marred episode 4, "On a Quiet Day..." dives straight back in to the cesspit of leering cleavage and unnecessary and unpleasant sexual titillation. It is tremendously frustrating, because in every other respect this is a wonderfully entertaining series. These intrustions - and in this episode's case it is one early scene - have a tendency to sour whatever appeal the rest of the episode has.

Izetta: The Last Witch: "A False Miracle"

It is 29 October 2016, and time for the fifth episode of Izetta: The Last Witch.

Izetta is publicly revealed to the people of Eylstadt, an act that also reveals her existence to the Germanian military. Germanian agent Berkmann begins to develop a theory on how Izetta's powers may be limited - a theory he does not realise is very close to the truth. When Germania attacks a pass where Izetta's powers cannot function, her secretly is in danger of being revealed.

I was rather put off by Izetta: The Last Witch's fourth episode, which disrupted an otherwise hugely entertaining alternate historical fantasy with egregious and ridiculously tacky fan service. It soured the entire series to date for me, and left me reluctant to continue with watching it. In the end I decided to persevere. Thankfully this fifth episode is devoid of such unnecessary and intrusive titilation and returns instead to the series' strengths: action, World War II-inspired battles, and the inventive insertion of magic into an otherwise historical setting.

Gods of Egypt (2016)

Set (Gerard Butler), the god of the desert, betrays his own family at the coronation of his brother Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau). He kills his own parents, blinds Horus, and assumes control over all of Egypt. A year later, a thief named Bek (Brenton Thwaites) sets out on a quest to save Horus and save all of Egypt from Set's rule.

Gods of Egypt was released about a year ago to some mild controversy over casting Caucasian actors as Egyptian gods and people, and to a wave of fiercely negative reviews by critics around the world. The film's director, Alex Proyas, took a great amount of offence at the critical response, calling the entire profession a pack of 'diseased vultures' and generally carrying on in a deeply embarrassing manner. His primary accusation was that most critics published negative reviews because most critics wanted to ensure they sided with the popular consensus: that critics basically all tow the same party line instead of judging individual films on their merits.

Whether that's true or not (spoiler: it isn't) I can at least attest to being a regular holder of minority opinions. When other critics thought John Carter was a terrible film, I said - and continue to maintain - it was great. When most critics hailed La La Land as one of 2016's best films, I found it rather mediocre. Alien 3 remains my favourite Alien film. So with my fiercely independent hat on, with a love for ambition in big-budget effects pictures over how much they actually succeed, I can say this: Gods of Egypt is a terrible film.

Izetta: The Last Witch: "The Secret of the Witch"

It is 22 October 2016, and time for the fourth episode of Izetta: The Last Witch.

Princess Finé returns to Landsbruck upon the death of her father. While preparations begin for her coronation, Finé meets with her military council to determine the next course of action. All are keen for Izetta to continue fighting for Eylstadt, however it is clear that her magical powers are not always available to her.

After the action-packed war scenes of episode 3, Izetta: The Last Witch takes events down a level for an episode of plot development, character backstory and the laying-down of rules for Izetta's magic. That's an important thing: magic may be fantasy, but to work effectively in a narrative it needs to have rules. There needs to be parameters set for the viewer, so that they can understand what Izetta's limits are, and what she can and cannot do. If this episode simply contained the above, it would easily get another thumbs-up from me. Unfortunately events are derailed by the bane of anime: fan service.

Izetta: The Last Witch: "The Sword in the Heavens"

On the front lines of Coenenberg, the Eylstadt army makes a final stand to prevent an invasion by the Germanian forces. They have no hope of success, and are simply buying time so that civilians may evacuate the area. Izetta wants to help, but Finé forbids her involvement; will Izetta obey?

It would be a pretty boring episode if she did: "The Sword in the Heavens" matches the first episode of Izetta: The Last Witch with tremendously exciting action sequences and emotive war drama. It manages to pack quite a lot into 25 minutes, and does a generally great job of it too.